God knows that you are stronger than you think, that drinks linger in your mouth for a reason now, something akin to self-destruction, but it's not your doing; it's foreign to you, so scary and aggressive this feeling, uniquely unlike you. you are forced to fight back now, just to stay emotionally stable - to appease your selves.

remember when you went outside with your friends, laughed over beers and funny jokes, thinking each other was so funny, that you were the shit, and that others were too,

remember when you had fun shopping with your mom and dad, putting clothes on them, remember when

you had a good heart, not tainted by a psychopathic demeanor a good personality stabilized by your old friends and even your pseudo-enemies,

remember hating no one? how that was a weird concept, when friends from online were real, and not scary, when you could befriend anyone in the world instanteously on the street with a big smile?

remember when clubs existed, and you could go dancing into the wee hours, laughing it up drinking it up, spelling your individuality out, do you remember those days?